Starting Over, Again and Again

As I sit down to do my meditation practice, I am confronted with the parade of thoughts running through my ever-busy brain. Where did I put my favorite hat? I wonder what I'm going to teach in class tomorrow. I can't wait for this snow to go away. I crave running. And sunshine. I'm definitely going to start running when it gets nicer out. I'll play the Rocky theme song when I do it. I should clean my room. I feel kind of anxious. What am I doing in this chair right now?

And then, just like a beam of sun shining through the clouds, comes the "Aha!" moment, as we call it in Calmer Choice, the program for which I am teaching mindfulness to kids in school. The Aha! moment is that moment when you come back to breath and body awareness. Simply: I am breathing in, I am breathing out. This moment is where the perfect simplicity of the present moment lies, amidst the bright, colorful, loud, confetti-fogged, candy-driven distracting parade.

Do you ever have moments like this? Moments where you wander into the kitchen, knowing that you came downstairs for some specific reason, yet you are still scratching your head, wondering why? It's what our brains do. We think, we make up ideas, we follow them, we forget them, we move on. But if you've run into the whole, "What did I come here for?" problem, you probably also know how frustrating it can be to forget what you endeavored to find, and how very rewarding it is when you can focus enough to remember what you needed. This is what I love about mindfulness, and the practice of yoga.

Wherever your mind wanders, no matter how many paths you cross, follow, and take a U-turn on, the moment of coming back--the Aha! moment--is always there, and always home. Always still, and quiet, and perfect, and wherever you are.

finding/losing yourself

A colleague of mine read this recently at the beginning of her yoga class. I'm not sure of the title but it is by Danna Faulds (thanks Eric!). Despite the incredible forms of accomplished yogis we see on the cover of Yoga Journal, yoga is about being inside of your body--yoking the mind to the physical form. The number one thing I hear as a yoga teacher from non-practitioners is "I can't do yoga, I'm not flexible". With these words below, I hope you may reconsider the importance of (or lack thereof) being able to touch your toes with straight legs. A little bend will go a long way, both for your body and for your mind. Who says you have to do a pose perfectly all the time? Who says you have to do it the same? Can you allow yourself to be perfectly happy and grateful for where you are right now? Can you find yourself in the postures?

Yoga is not about the pose.
It's not the alignment of
toes or hips or shoulders.
It's not about the form.

Yoga is an invitation to
explore, not a command
performance. It speaks
the language of the soul.

In the flow of breath and
motion, yoga coaxes us
from the confines of the
known, across the silent
threshold into vastness.

Yoga is the union of prayer
and movement, guided from
inside. It is healing and the
joy of saying yes to life

Breathe, relax and feel the
body receive its own truth.
The seed of freedom flowers
within each of us whenever
we are open to what's real.

rainy day on 6a

            I’ve heard before that sometimes you have to leave a place or a person to appreciate its/their true beauty. After five years away at college, away in the world, I’ve come home to live on Cape Cod. I came back seasonally to live at home and save money working in the summer, but this time it’s different. I’m a college graduate and I’ve moved home after living out of a backpack for five months, traversing a new and foreign continent. I’m looking at the Cape through completely different glasses and I’m seeing lots of sunshine, even in the clouds and rain and muggy summer weather.

            Yesterday as I drove down route 6A, Cape Cod’s oldest and most scenic main road, I was mystified. Maybe it was the soundtrack of Kid Koala’s distant, blurry, and jazzy tunes floating around in my car. Or maybe it was the freedom of the day, one open for exploration and new conversations. Maybe it was the fact that I had just been reunited with one of my best friends. But through the misty rain, I found myself smiling both inside and out.

I stopped at a handful of places I’d seen or hadn’t noticed on the curvy, tree-lined road. I took a few unexpected turns, letting my impulses lead the way, and wandered into beautiful boutiques filled with love and thought and art and creativity. The HandcraftHouse tickled my fancy from the moment I pulled into the parking lot. Heavy wind chimes reached inside of me and touched my bones, singing to me through my ears and each of my cells. Decorative wind-swept rusted iron trees reminded me of nature’s elements, and the power of endurance and patience leading to inevitable change. I smiled at these inanimate objects that seemed to me so full of life, and delighted in the imagination and care that went into each of their stories.

            Then I meandered down the road to Dennis, where I stopped by the Cape Cod Chathouse, an adorable house refurbished into an art gallery and meeting place. It is tastefully and minimally decorated with simple and beautiful furniture, deep colors, and framed artwork. I sat in a window box with a big cup of lemon ginger tea and listened to the rushing of cars down the wet road mixed with an eclectic mix of Led Zeppelin and Madeleine Peyroux. I sat and thought and smiled to myself and wrote and read a little bit and felt content and lucky and sent some vibes of gratitude to the present moment.

            It’s not too often that we find our days so open-ended, I know, but I think a day is made great by beginning to notice and appreciate the little things. You may be stuck in the hot summer traffic, but maybe you can find a great song on the radio with a positive message, or find some wonder in the brilliance of the green in the leaves on the trees. It’s all about how you open and shift your mind. And good news friends—you’ve got the power.

back in the "real world"

After a wild and wacky 6 months, I'm back in the States, with regular internet service, a cozy bed, and a regular yoga routine on a real yoga mat again. I'll elaborate more on my travels in the coming posts, but I just spent the past five months backpacking around South America with one of my best friends from college after graduating. We started in Chilean and Argentinian Patagonia, where we hiked and experienced the most beautiful and remote scenery these eyeballs have ever seen, traveled through Argentina, Uruguay, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, and then worked our way back down through nearly all of those countries again. Six countries in five months taught me that traveling can get tiring! After moving back home with my parents on Cape Cod, I'm getting grounded and happily establishing myself in a steady community once again.

Finding my breath in front of a glacier in Glacier National Park, Argentina

It's a transformational time in my life and I'm gratefully accepting the challenges and changes. My mother just recently took over ownership of our local yoga studio, the Centerville Yoga and Wellness Center. I feel lucky that I can help her to grow a business in a field that I am incredibly passionate about. It makes my heart smile so bright when I think about the possibilities ahead! I am learning, slowly and surely, that while owning a business is a whole lot of effort, I think it's going to be worth it. My mom's and my vision is to revamp the energy of the space, which has already been growing for six years, and create a space for community--a place where people can gather together, talk, practice, find peace, friendship, and inspiration. We offer yoga classes, massage, counseling, and loads more to help bring balance into people's lives. Goodness knows, there are plenty of things that try to blow us off track in this crazy life!

As I close on one giant journey through another continent, I'm excited and energized to be embarking on another entirely different one at home. I look forward to using this blog to share stories and experiences, new yoga learnings, teachings, and videos, thoughts on life and cool things and people I encounter along the way. I'll share photos, music, positive energy and messages, and I hope that you feel free to send me a message and contribute as well if you feel pulled to do so.

I hope you're having a kick-ass summer so far, you rockstar. I look forward to writing again real soon! Stay TUNED!

charged and ready

in the past few weeks, i've been learning a lot. as i wrote in my last post, for the next five months, i will not be working. i feel super fortunate and grateful and i'm thanking my lucky ducks that the universe allowed me this open time for self and world exploration. so, i'm taking the rest of my time in northampton to devote myself to things i haven't done before, delve into creation, and take a deeper look inside myself by practicing and learning about lots of yoga and the funky ways in which my body moves.

i've been reading lots of national geographic magazines. one of my bestest buddies inherited a whole big stack of nat geo's via craigslist, and we've been mind stretching and crafting ever since. i had never really been introduced to the magazine so thoroughly, but i think i can safely say i have fallen in love. i get lost reading about people and cultures, nature nature nature, the deep ocean. quite an artform.

i've been doing yoga. on my own, in the morning or at night (my favorite lately). in classes, with an excellent iyengar teacher in northampton, eileen muir at karuna yoga, and in easthampton, too with josh schumer at mama nirvana. one of the things i love most about yoga in today's society is that each teacher (and student) has something different to share, a different message, interpretation. a new way of encouraging you to look at your body a little differently, of looking at things in general a little differently. and then you can receive a teacher's teachings and ponder them some more, on your own in the dark bundled up a bit because your room is cold, with a stick of incense and a candle burning peacefully in front of the tie dye curtain, bringing a subtle colorful glow to the darkness of the night-lit bedroom.

i've been dancing. and laughing while dancing, until it makes my belly and cheeks hurt and i'm sweating and laughing so hard i'm crying. my favorite times thus far have been in the comfort of my living room with my lovely, beautiful roommates. i love them so much. we like dancing to this song.

i've been crafting. journals, collages, cards, jewelry, soon to be candles...

i'm feeling lucky to be alive and free. to have amazing friends and family that give quality, caring advice and also listen with open ears. and to have this comfy place with blankets and warm huggers.

i'm charged and ready to go.
:-)

happy 2013!

how will you this year?

in remembrance and reflection

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, 
my mother would say to me, 

“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” 

To this day, especially in times of disaster, 
I remember my mother’s words and 

I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many 
helpers – 

so many caring people in this world.” 

- Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

Today I've been thinking a lot about the community of Newtown, CT. I still can't believe it happened. My deepest sympathy goes out to those innocent lives that were lost and their families that are enduring this horrific tragedy. I've been thinking about what anyone can do to help them. No amount of money or tears can undo the events that unfurled yesterday.

But in this sad, disheartening time, we need to remember that there is still good in the world. We have the advent of each other for support, and a strong reminder that this life we are given is precious and fragile. Let this tragedy bring us together so that we can remember the brave lives lost, and reflect. If you haven't already today, take a moment doing whatever it is you're doing--checking your email, watching TV, listening to music--to stop. If you're with someone, suggest they stop, too. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, and send so much love to those families affected in Newtown today. Feel their heavy hearts in yours and share their pain. They need it more than anything right now.

Make it a point today to tell those that you love how you feel. Let them know how much they mean to you. You never know what will happen next in this roller coaster life.